In Between

I’m a little weird, but today is my favorite day of the year. No, it’s not my birthday or any anniversary or even Christmas. It’s not the first day of Spring or any other “special event”. It’s this small, seemingly insignificant day – or full 24 hour period, that falls between Good Friday and Easter;  when we pause to remember the day Jesus was crucified and the day Jesus arose. Every year I try to put myself in the shoes of his loved ones and followers. Try to imagine the horror, the fear, the disappointment, the seeming rejection. There had been so much hope, so much love, so much more to hear, to learn, to do. Had they been crazy to follow this man and give up so much, for what? For this? This day of sorrow and emptiness. Now what? Now where? 

This was not part of the plan.

So, I know the outcome. And they would too. But for this one day, they were somewhere in-between. This is the part that makes this my favorite day. This reminder that God is all about working a plan. That he’s not afraid for us to feel. That this in-between space that mocks faith and hope is not all that remains of this story – and here’s the best part – or any story. Because honestly, this is where I live most of my life. In between. In between trips to the grocery store. In between a start date and a deadline. In between pay day and [you name it]. In between diagnosis and healing. In between dreams imagined and dreams realized. Always in between.  But I love this day, this one day sandwiched between the cross and the empty tomb. This one day that shouts out for all eternity, “There is hope while dwelling in the in between!”

This one day that reminds us that God is always up to something. Something eternal, not thwarted by our momentary un-comfort. God is strong enough to handle our misunderstanding, confusion, denial, accusations even. Maybe like a parent can handle their young child’s tantrum after stopping them from running out into the street. You look at them and think, “I just saved you!” And you still love them despite their public display of defiance, and lack of gratitude or understanding. And He still loves us.

I missed two opportunities to shine God’s light yesterday. Denial. I had to take medicine to help with a medical challenge. Where’s the healing? The clothes dryer quit working. Seriously?

This was not part of (my) plan.

Yep. I’m somewhere in between. My favorite day of the year.

Lamentations 3:21 But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 

Did Noah say thank you surrounded by noise and odor and crashing thunderstorms?
Did Joseph say thank you when he was thrown into jail?
Did Moses say thank you with the Red Sea at his feet?
Did Esther say thank you as she was taken from her home?
Did Job say thank you when he lost all he had?
Did David say thank you when hid in a cave?
Did Daniel say thank you as he fell into the Lion’s den?
Did Shadrack, Meshack, or Abednego say thank you as they were carried to the furnace?
Did Jonah say thank you as a giant sea creature drew near?
Did Elisha say thank you when he ran for his life?
I have the advantage of knowing the outcome; they didn’t.
Like Noah, can I say thank you during the storms of life?
Like Joseph, can I say thank you when unjustly accused?
Like Moses, can I say thank you when there is nowhere to turn?
Like Esther, can I say thank you when things don’t turn out the way I thought?
Like Job, can I say thank you when You don’t seem to be who I thought You were?
Like David, can I say thank you when the path to my destiny becomes the test to determine my destiny?
Like Daniel, can I say thank you when doing what was right seems to make everything go wrong?
Like Rack, Shack, & Benny, can I say thank you when I don’t know the outcome?
Like Jonah, can I say thank you when the answer seems fearful?
Like Elisha, can I say thank you when you don’t seem to do what I thought you would do?
Help me Father to always have a thankful heart like these and so many others whose destinies could have been aborted had they abandoned their faith. Thank you for the many gifts you have given me, especially the love of my husband and children. For freedom in America. And mostly for your gift of salvation.

Daniel 3:16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

"Good luck on the job, mom!......."

I am at the threshold of a "tear-sowing joy-reaping" experience I just can't miss sharing. Amidst an already demanding scheduled week including opposite spectrum emotions (my youngest turned one while my grandmother is grasping at the doorknob to eternity) I was handed an incredible gift - an amazing job offer opportunity for a temporary, full time position. Though humbled and honored my instinct is no; I have 4 children. Slowly throughout the day however, provision to take the opportunity began to be revealed. So I threw my hat into the ring. My kids know that I'm struggling to do the right thing; wanting it, not sure if I'll get it, not sure if I should take it if I do get it. Since they have really been encouraging me to go for it; "we'll be fine, mom!" I was teasing them as to why they were so anxious to get rid of me. I found this note on the table tonight after they were all in bed.

Good luck on the job, mom! I am sure that you will be the one with the job! Thank you for applying for this job! The #1 reason we want you to have this job is so that we can pay for all of needed items! I am surely positive that this is one of God's plans for our family future! If you end up with the job, maybe there will be a person who needs Jesus, and you will be the one to lead them to him. Since you are a talented, smart, amazing, and beautiful woman, I am sure this job will be yours!! Thank you once again for applying, and many thanks for being our mom!!
We love you!
Love,
(and they each signed it, except the baby of course!)

Guess I better get busy updating that ol' resume!
(Am I a blessed woman of the Lord or what?!)

A little bit of country heaven in the middle of the city..

National Day of Prayer

2006 Prayer for the Nation

Dr. Henry Blackaby

Oh Heavenly Father, You have made Yourself known to us as a nation by Your mighty works throughout our history. From the beginning, You havebeen with us through many wars and conflicts; Your rightarm has saved us. We havebeen amazingly andgraciously blessed.

Today, we confess our sinof not responding to Yourright to rule in our lives and our nation. Too often we havedespised and rejected Your will while imposing our own, and weare now facing the consequencesof our disobedience. Draw us back to Yourselfthat we may return to Yourways once again. Without You we can do nothing. You have promised that if wehonor You, You will once again honor this great nation.

That is our fervent prayer. For Your honorand glory we pray,

Amen.

Join an event near you, listen in on the 24 hour confernce call, or join your family together & pray;
For more informationvisit www.nationaldayofprayer.org

Finally Spring.....

....in Michigan & in my life.

For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come...

Song of Songs 2:11,12a

... in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Coringthians 5:21

Aslan

This song will be included in my life long list of all time favorites. I was so captivated by the music the first time I heard it I didn't even catch or remember any lyrics. Next time though the lyrics poured over my soul like fresh anointing oil. And that was all before I knew the title was Aslan.

Aslan

Don’t stop your crying on my account
A frightening lion, no doubt
He’s not safe no, he’s not safe
Are you tempted now to run away?
The King above all kings is coming down

But he won’t say the words you wish that he would
Oh he don’t do the deeds you know that he could
He won’t think the thoughts you think that he should
But He is good, He is good.

I know you’re thirsty the water is free
But I should warn you- it’ costs everything
Well, he’s not fair no, he’s not fair
When he fixes what’s beyond repair
And graces everyone that don’t deserve

No-one knows him whom eyes never seen
No, I don’t know him but he knows me
He knows me. He knows me.

Lay down your layers, shed off your skin
But without his incision you can’t enter in
He cuts deep, yeah he cuts deep
When the risk is great and the talk is cheap
But never leaves a wounded one behind

© 2006 Kendall Payne